Rainy and Grey

So...today was pretty crap. There were some good moments, however.
Today is the 30th, which means it's been six months since I started dating my boyfriend, Josh. Hooray! I'm sure the people who follow me on other sites are sick of hearing about it, haha. I've been talking about it all over facebook and tumblr.
I can't help it; he did the sweetest thing for me imaginable, and that was having a big arrangement of roses and a card delivered to my dorm today. It was a bunch of roses and these tiny white flowers. I had to take them out of their arrangement to put them in water, though. It's important to me that they last as long as possible. Of course, I took pictures of them.

I'm glad I got the flowers, because I needed a pick me up. Today I made my way to the bank by myself to exchange my traveler's checks for yen. I was basically going off directions that my advisor here gave me and the promise that I could do it without a Japanese speaker.
Well, getting off the train I put my money in the wrong slot, so a worker had to come after me and give me my fare to pay at the correct place. I got so flustered that I forgot to zip up the change section of my wallet, and when I tried to put it back in my bag all of my change fell out and several people had to help me.
Then...I took a wrong turn down a street and got really anxious about finding the place. Thankfully I did (it was right across the street the whole time...I just couldn't read the sign. -_-)
I went in, took my number, and when I got called up I basically just handed them my checks and followed their instructions the best I could.

I'm glad I was able to do that myself, and now I finally have money to buy some more groceries. I also found out today that I'll receive my food stipend on October 20th, and it will be retroactive so I'll get money for September as well. That was a relief to me. My money has been going down the drain with buying food and extra expenses.

Anyway...after that I took the train to campus and sat in the cafeteria to finish a homework sheet. I got really frustrated with it because I don't have my textbooks yet to use as a reference (more on that in a bit). Well, when I went to my one class of the day it turned out the teacher didn't even collect it. I have three different comprehensive Japanese teachers, and my Friday teacher is my least favorite so far. My Monday and Tuesday teacher is very soft spoken and makes things pretty easy to understand. My Wednesday and Thursday is really nice, and he's pretty funny too.

This class...sucked. She started us off with talking back and forth, and I don't know if I missed something or what (I had a feeling it was probably in our book) but I was totally lost. My brain just shut down and I was this stammering, red-faced mess. THEN she gave us a "level check" test, and I found myself staring at the page, not understanding a bit of it. She asked me to answer a question, and I just sort of sat there helplessly like a deer in headlights.

If these "level checks" continue, I think I'm going to end up moving down to beginners or something...but hey...at least I wouldn't be embarrassed in there.

Ever since I got here, I feel like everything I've learned has left my head. I feel pretty much clueless all the time. Studying gets me really frustrated, because I feel like there's not much of a point to it aside from just trying to pass. I feel like I'm wasting my time on Japanese when I'm dropping it as my minor when I get home in January...it takes a lot out of me. I just hope I can pass or I start to remember stuff better.

On the topic of my books...I went to the bookstore today to get my textbooks, since I could finally afford them. ...they were sold out of what I needed. Augh. I feel so behind. I have a photocopy of our first lesson, but I have no idea when they're getting more books. I couldn't understand what the woman at the store was telling me, but I think I filled out an info sheet so they could contact me when the books came in? I was so embarrassed...I could feel my face turning hot because I was so red. I wish I could use my genki textbook. I guess I'll try to study out of that for now. It's the best I can do, really. Besides, comparing the genki book to the photocopy of the textbook I have, I understand genki so much better.

I wish I didn't have to drop money on a book I'm not going to use after a few months. I think I'm just going to leave it at I-House for some other student to use.

So, I left class just feeling really low about myself and just thankful that it's the weekend. Tomorrow I'm going out shopping with a few girls, so I think I'm going to look for a coat (my parents can't mail me mine because it's too expensive) or a sweater. I could also use new flats because mine are wearing out quickly.

I'm just trying to take this one day at a time. The days just need to go by faster.