Rainy and Grey

So...today was pretty crap. There were some good moments, however.
Today is the 30th, which means it's been six months since I started dating my boyfriend, Josh. Hooray! I'm sure the people who follow me on other sites are sick of hearing about it, haha. I've been talking about it all over facebook and tumblr.
I can't help it; he did the sweetest thing for me imaginable, and that was having a big arrangement of roses and a card delivered to my dorm today. It was a bunch of roses and these tiny white flowers. I had to take them out of their arrangement to put them in water, though. It's important to me that they last as long as possible. Of course, I took pictures of them.

I'm glad I got the flowers, because I needed a pick me up. Today I made my way to the bank by myself to exchange my traveler's checks for yen. I was basically going off directions that my advisor here gave me and the promise that I could do it without a Japanese speaker.
Well, getting off the train I put my money in the wrong slot, so a worker had to come after me and give me my fare to pay at the correct place. I got so flustered that I forgot to zip up the change section of my wallet, and when I tried to put it back in my bag all of my change fell out and several people had to help me.
Then...I took a wrong turn down a street and got really anxious about finding the place. Thankfully I did (it was right across the street the whole time...I just couldn't read the sign. -_-)
I went in, took my number, and when I got called up I basically just handed them my checks and followed their instructions the best I could.

I'm glad I was able to do that myself, and now I finally have money to buy some more groceries. I also found out today that I'll receive my food stipend on October 20th, and it will be retroactive so I'll get money for September as well. That was a relief to me. My money has been going down the drain with buying food and extra expenses.

Anyway...after that I took the train to campus and sat in the cafeteria to finish a homework sheet. I got really frustrated with it because I don't have my textbooks yet to use as a reference (more on that in a bit). Well, when I went to my one class of the day it turned out the teacher didn't even collect it. I have three different comprehensive Japanese teachers, and my Friday teacher is my least favorite so far. My Monday and Tuesday teacher is very soft spoken and makes things pretty easy to understand. My Wednesday and Thursday is really nice, and he's pretty funny too.

This class...sucked. She started us off with talking back and forth, and I don't know if I missed something or what (I had a feeling it was probably in our book) but I was totally lost. My brain just shut down and I was this stammering, red-faced mess. THEN she gave us a "level check" test, and I found myself staring at the page, not understanding a bit of it. She asked me to answer a question, and I just sort of sat there helplessly like a deer in headlights.

If these "level checks" continue, I think I'm going to end up moving down to beginners or something...but hey...at least I wouldn't be embarrassed in there.

Ever since I got here, I feel like everything I've learned has left my head. I feel pretty much clueless all the time. Studying gets me really frustrated, because I feel like there's not much of a point to it aside from just trying to pass. I feel like I'm wasting my time on Japanese when I'm dropping it as my minor when I get home in January...it takes a lot out of me. I just hope I can pass or I start to remember stuff better.

On the topic of my books...I went to the bookstore today to get my textbooks, since I could finally afford them. ...they were sold out of what I needed. Augh. I feel so behind. I have a photocopy of our first lesson, but I have no idea when they're getting more books. I couldn't understand what the woman at the store was telling me, but I think I filled out an info sheet so they could contact me when the books came in? I was so embarrassed...I could feel my face turning hot because I was so red. I wish I could use my genki textbook. I guess I'll try to study out of that for now. It's the best I can do, really. Besides, comparing the genki book to the photocopy of the textbook I have, I understand genki so much better.

I wish I didn't have to drop money on a book I'm not going to use after a few months. I think I'm just going to leave it at I-House for some other student to use.

So, I left class just feeling really low about myself and just thankful that it's the weekend. Tomorrow I'm going out shopping with a few girls, so I think I'm going to look for a coat (my parents can't mail me mine because it's too expensive) or a sweater. I could also use new flats because mine are wearing out quickly.

I'm just trying to take this one day at a time. The days just need to go by faster.

Class, yakiniku, and pumpkin ice cream.

Well, I started class. My schedule is pretty light. This is a good thing, because I have a feeling I'm going to end up studying my butt off...
I have comprehensive Japanese five times a week for an hour and a half. That's mainly studying grammar, doing a little speaking.
I have speaking and listening twice a week for the same length of time, and that's pretty self explanatory. That class is going to be the death of me. I hate speaking under pressure. My oral comm class last year was in English and I still had a hard time with that!
Finally, I have writing, which meets once a week.
I would tell you how writing is, but I actually missed my two classes today. I woke up this morning feeling really sick. I have to admit that I have not been eating well, and when you pair that with walking a lot every single day and staying up to study, it was a recipe for disaster.

So, tonight when I got invited to go eat yakiniku, I thought to myself, "forget my budget, I am eating well tonight." It was the best beef I've ever eaten in my life. The portions are pretty small, but the beef is so rich. Apparently the cut of beef my friend Jen and I ate is the muscle from the cow diaphragm. It was so delicious. I had that with some properly made rice (I am horrible at cooking rice). Afterwards we stopped by a 7-11, and I noticed there were halloween themed ice cream treats in the cooler. I found one that said it was pumpkin flavored and snapped it up. It was amazing.

One thing I really like about Japanese desserts is that they never overdo it on sweetness. Even their chocolate bars are pretty delicate. You get just the right sized portion, and you never feel like you need to drink water or something to wash down all the sugaryness.

Another random thing...
Ritsumeikan has classes set up much like high school. At Memphis, there are only so many set class slots, but classes can overlap. At Ritsumeikan, they actually have set periods. You still choose your classes (well, I'm in the intensive Japanese track, so classes are set for you, but anyway) and you can have all of them together, or far apart, etc, but class periods never overlap. There is also a set lunch period, so even if you have class all day, you'll get an hour for lunch.
There are also chimes that tell you when class begins and ends.

Sometimes I feel a little bit like the odd person out at my dorm.
Last night, for example, most of the people in my dorm went to a nomihoudai, or an all you can drink party at a local restaurant. The stories I heard the following morning were pretty hilarious, but I felt a bit like a fish out of water.
I've never really drank, even though being a college student I'm sure I could've gone to parties and such where I had the opportunity. It's just never been a big deal to me. For one, breaking the law is rather stupid. It's really not that hard to wait until you're 21. And secondly, getting drunk off my butt and making a fool of myself doesn't seem all that appealing. Even if you're only tipsy or pretty much sober and just watching the action unfold, it must be pretty weird watching all of your friends act out or puke their brains out or whatever.
Here in Japan, going out drinking with friends is a common way to have a good time; being drunk is the best icebreaker, I suppose.
But...I'm just not interested. I'm even legal here, and I don't care at all. The first time I ever actually get drunk, I would prefer to be in the company of close friends, people who will say, "hey you've had a bit too much" or who will make sure I get home safely, won't judge me if I say something stupid, etc...
Drinking seems like such a waste of money as well. You spend a lot of money on drinks that may or may not taste great, and that's it. There's no tangible object to take home with you, no quality memories...I'm in Kyoto, for heaven's sake. I could go somewhere really cool or buy something for myself with the money. Or -gasp- I could even spend it on things I need.

So yeah...it's weird being around a bunch of people who want to hit the club or play tipsy twister or go to nomihoudais. I feel kind of like a stick in the mud for saying no and chilling in my room, but it's how I am. I've never really enjoyed partying, and I've stated how I feel about excessive drinking. There are better things to do with my time. Sure, I'm in this new place and I can go on adventures and all that, but I'm not going to suddenly change who I am because I've been dropped in a new country.

Bah.

I feel a little out of place with the language thing, as well. I was a little disappointed by my placement in classes today. I only got upper elementary, while some people who studied the same amount of time I did got into advanced classes. However, I was not feeling well all through testing, I hadn't studied all summer, their classes were probably different, and I'd just made the decision to drop Japanese as my minor when I return to Memphis.
So yes, it was a blow to my ego, but in the grand scheme of things I don't care all too much.
I just feel weird about it. Most of the people here are majoring in Japanese, linguistics, International relations, or Asian studies. I'm a photography major who just came here because I like Japan and I like the language. And now I'm not going to even take it anymore. Less pressure on me, I suppose. I'm just going to try to enjoy the ride.

Well, we've had a lot of rain in Kyoto the past two days. I figure most people know that a typhoon passed over the country. My Dad told me there were some evacuations? I've been too preoccupied to read anything about it. But, aside from being constantly soaked and suffering from awful humidity, things are fine here.

Sooo, biggest piece of news. I'm returning home at the end of the semester instead of a year. Taking a year off my major is REALLY going to keep me from graduating on time, so I'm trying to work how I'm going to get enrolled in Spring semester at Memphis. Our spring semester concludes on the first day of February, so I'm looking into taking my exams early or seeing if I can start late. Hooray for different school calendars.

What else have I been up to?

I went to downtown Kyoto a couple of days ago. It's very nice, with a lot of covered shops that sell things from anime figurines, to trendy clothes, to traditional wares. There are also lots of restaurants.
I also went to a maid cafe! Well, the group I was in had no clue it was a maid cafe at first, we saw a girl in a cute waitress outfit on the street showing people a menu; we were hungry so we decided to check it out. Upon entering the restaurant we realized that the clientele was entirely male, all of the waitresses were in frilly uniforms (even the female cook had booty shorts on under her apron!), and there was J-Pop and K-Pop music playing. I only bought tiramisu, but it was quite good and cost only 200 yen.

I just finished my second day of orientation as well. I'm all done with my placement tests, thank goodness. It was very nerve wracking, but I tried not to worry about it too much, since I'm really just taking Japanese for my own personal enjoyment and don't need the credits anymore since I decided to focus on my photography when I get home. It takes off a little bit of pressure. We've learned a little bit about campus during some seminars. There are two more days to orientation, and on the final day I'll find out my score on the tests and what classes I am to be placed in. Supposedly the teachers who conducted our interview portions will most likely be the ones teaching our classes, and if that's the case my teacher seems quite nice.

I'm starting to miss food from back home quite a bit. I try to cook for myself, but on campus I don't have much choice but to purchase from the cafeteria. The one open right now serves only Japanese style food, but there are other cafes and we have a Subway on campus (don't hurt me Josh, I really want a sub sandwich and you can't airmail me Lenny's...) I've been eating lots of rice, pasta, curry, tofu...I need a steak. Or a slice of pizza.

Time Difference

In Memphis I was something of a night owl. I would usually stay awake until 2, 3, 4 in the morning. Some of it was stress related, but staying up late became so ingrained in me that even when I wasn't stressed out I would be up in the wee hours of the morning, surfing the internet or watching netflix. I would often stay at Josh's house pretty late, because I figured if I couldn't get to sleep I would at least enjoy my hours of wakefulness by spending time with my boyfriend.

Now with this huge time change, my internal clock seems to be flip-flopped. I find myself getting sleepy around 8 o clock, and I wake up around 6 or 7 without a problem. It's such a change for me. Some of the grogginess I still attribute to jet lag, but otherwise I'm doing all right, physically. I wake up around 6, surf the internet until 7, go down to the basement and take a shower (Showering early is a good thing because no one else is in there at that time. There is only one shower room per gender and all the shower heads are open.), go back up to my room and finish getting 'primped' and then I just do whatever.

Things are still kind of lonely and time seems to drag on. Having class will be nice because then I'll actually have things to do. Missing my family and my boyfriend are at the forefront of my mind because I don't have anything else to focus on. It doesn't help that the weather is rather grey. I look forward to having class and things to occupy my time.

Right now I've been avoiding going out because I've spent a lot of the money I brought with me on groceries and other necessary items. I won't have a bank account until Tuesday at the earliest and I don't know when my food stipend starts. Some Japanese students from Ritsumeikan came by my room yesterday and invited me to go out to get drinks and dinner (FYI for my relatives who don't know, 20 is the legal drinking age here, so it's perfectly acceptable to go out to a bar. They also have beer at vending machines, and although I'm curious to try a Japanese beer, I'm hesitant to spend my money on something I don't like.), but I can't afford to spend my money freely.

Hopefully the few groceries I bought will tide me over. I have to go by 7-11 today and pick up some sugar for my coffee, some juice, and lunch meat.
I want to explore the neighborhood, but I'm afraid to do so by myself because I don't want to get lost.

Supermarket

Well, I took a trip to the supermarket this morning. I was a little nervous at first, not having been out shopping on my own before. Nor did I have any idea about prices. I'm also on a pretty tight budget right now until I can open up my bank account. the food I bought today is going to have to last me a little while...I'm not going to get my food stipend for a little bit.

It really sucks, because the money I've saved up to do things in Japan is going down the drain because I need food. :/ I've spent a lot of money in the past few days, from train fare, to paying for my taxi to the international house, to renting my bike. Bah. Stupid money. Well...since I expect to go home at the end of the semester, my meager budget will hopefully stretch a little farther.

But...back to the supermarket. It was really cool. Everything is very brightly colored, and they have so many products. It took me a while to figure out the layout of the aisles, and I had no idea what some of the items were. But, I managed to figure it out.
Prices are...okay, but I still died a little on the inside since the exchange rate kind of sucks right now (so what I had saved is a lot less in Japan). The most expensive items were meat. They come in pretty small portions, definitely not enough to feed a family or someone for more than maybe two meals. The larger portions were astronomical.

So, needless to say I skipped out on meat.
But, I did find pasta! I bought a couple bags of penne for about a dollar. I bought some eggs, some fruit, some lettuce for salads, some tomatoes and Parmesan to eat with my pasta, yogurt and bananas, some bread, butter, cheese. Oh, and olive oil and balsamic vinegar. And nescafe. Hooray for basics. I anticipate losing weight while I'm gone, being on such a tight budget and walking everywhere. Hopefully when my food stipend kicks in I can go out to eat sometimes...

A Little Improvement

This morning I was still feeling rather crummy, but I went with other people from my house to go fill out some paperwork on campus and get our alien registration forms completed. I got to meet a few other girls and they were all very nice.

Meeting them has helped me feel a little more positive about being here and Japanese in general. I'm going to try my hardest to make the best of this and enjoy my time here. I still feel depressed about not being at home, but I enjoyed being out and about today and getting to know a few of the girls I'm living with. I also rented a bicycle. It has a cute basket and a bell..so when I feel down I think I'll just ride my bike.

I still feel that staying for the semester will be a better option for me. I miss home too much. I still am not sure about continuing with Japanese when I return home, but only time will tell.

I hope that the busier I get, the faster time will pass.

My journey and arriving in Japan.

Well, here I am in Kyoto. It's 3:oo am here, and even though I'm exhausted, jet lag is keeping me restless and awake. Thankfully, I went to bed around nine, so I'm not completely running on empty.

I would be lying if I said my trip went smoothly. Okay, on paper it did; I made my connecting flight, went through customs without a hitch, retrieved all my luggage, and managed to fumble my way through getting to my taxi.

I left my family, Josh, and Arielle at the airport this morning. Leaving all of them behind was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I had to force myself to let go of Josh's hand, and I cried most of the way through security. Going through security, I accidentally left a set of headphones and a pack of gum in my pocket during the body scanner, so I got a pat down. Yaaay.

My flight to Seattle went okay, I put my ipod in and dozed most of the time. When I got to Seattle I ran to catch my connecting flight to Osaka. I'm pretty sure I was one out of maybe four non-Asian people on the plane. It was quite jarring.

The ten hour plane ride to Osaka was pretty miserable. I forced myself to eat and drink, even though I felt like I was going to be violently ill most of the ride. (I probably would've felt better if I'd thrown up, but I didn't want to vomit on the plane and draw attention to myself.) I was tired, I couldn't get comfortable, and I felt pretty depressed. Most of the day the recurring thought that came into my mind was, "Did I just make a huge mistake? I want to go home."
(I am still SO grateful that if I happen to not adjust well, my parents promised to get me home at the end of the semester. Or whenever I seem miserable enough to rescue.)

After the plane landed, I had to go through customs. It took nearly and hour, and the room everyone was in had no air conditioning. I felt like I was going to pass out. Thankfully, once I got through the line, the process was very quick and everyone who worked at the airport was very kind to me. It probably helped that I had a lost/ill/terrified expression on my face. After fumbling around with my luggage cart (the man who helped me get my luggage off the conveyor belt neglected to tell me to push down on the handle to release the brake) and getting lost several times while searching for the taxi service, I got on the airport taxi and made my way to Kyoto.

I sat up front, which thankfully prevented me from getting any more motion sick than I already was. The taxi driver was also very kind, even though he spoke hardly any English and I spoke hardly any Japanese, we communicated well. It took about two hours to make it to the international house. When I arrived, the house managers and one of the 'house buddies' greeted me. They got me up to my room, had me fill out a form, and the house buddy showed me around. Mrs. Yoshida, one of the house managers, gave me some iced tea, apple juice, and cake because I looked so tired.

I was so exhausted and disoriented that all my Japanese was pretty much shot to hell. Honestly though, how much I thought I'd taken was nothing. The people at the house dumbed down their Japanese for me a tad, and I could understand most of what they were getting at. Speaking back was another matter. But, I'm here to learn, and I did not pretend my Japanese was better than it is; everyone is very friendly and obliging; things will improve with time, and there's no reason to set the bar too high and end up struggling later.

I'm a little nervous about meeting people at the International House; most of the students here are Korean or Chinese, and most of them seem to know much more Japanese than I do. Hopefully when orientation or class starts, I'll find a few people who are in the same boat that I can connect with.

Here are some things that I've observed about Japan so far:
People are MUCH more polite drivers there than in Memphis. There are tons of bikers and pedestrians, so everyone is very careful around them. However, traffic is still pretty heavy; despite that, everyone drives within the speed limit, and when passing through narrow streets everyone is polite and takes turns pulling to the side to let others pass.

Japanese cars have an AMAZING turning radius. >_>

Most of the buildings are not that attractive, aside from the more traditional styled houses. The streets are very narrow. However, everything is kept very tidy and I did not see a single piece of litter.

A lot of the signs are very big, bright, and colorful. Quite a change from living in Germantown.

So...that's all I have to say for now. I'm very homesick and very lonely. I hope that changes as time passes. I miss my bed, my cat, my neighborhood, my family, my friends, and Josh. As soon as I got situated in my room and hooked up the internet, I called Josh. Seeing his face and hearing his voice is such a comfort to me, but I long to just be able to hug him or hold his hand. No matter how wonderful of a time I end up having here, I'm still counting down the days to when I'll be reunited with all of the people I love.